A week later

I've been waiting for a certain piece of equipment to arrive so that I may finish a project and post it. Till then, let me just say that this has been the longest week I've experienced in a while.

It's a strange experience to relocate in an effort to change one's lifestyle. It's a completely frightening prospect when one is also responsible for others at the same time. I spent most of this past week dutifully trying to find a residence for David, Pai and I. It took me a week of looking at places and coordinating the best possible solutions. We have certain needs. I'd like to be close enough to walk, bike or bus to school while NOT living amongst frat houses. David and I both want to be able to walk to cafes, markets, a pub. I would suspect, proximity to biking and walking trails would also be attractive to David. For Pai - she needs a little bit of green space, a fence, a little scenery and some not-so-obnoxious or threatening neighbors - whatever that means. Most importantly we need to be able to transition from owning our own home to renting - which is weird. It feels a little backwards. I can go round and round about my responsibility about finding a domicile for us, but I know that I can only search so much. Usually, the right spot finds you, not the other way around. For now - I'm subletting an apartment from a current dance grad. It's a nice place, but not dog friendly. My sublease is up at the end of July. For August, I have another apartment sublease that accepts a dog and will be big enough for all three of us. It's not ideal in that David and I will be about 20 years older than all of our neighbors - but it's just for a month. Sept 1st we'll move into a single family home. I can't wait! It's a cute cape cod-style house and I think it will be a good home. I'll be happy to make a home with David again. It may have only been a week that I've been gone, but it feels a lot longer.

My reaction to all this change varies as can be expected. I'm doing my best to just observe things as they happen and get to know my way around the town. At night I have disturbing, vivid dreams, but I know they're really just little things surfacing. Things will eventually calm down and I'm looking forward to it. I'm really just trying to remain calm and be present.

“Ideally a painter (and, generally, an artist) should not become conscious of his insights: without taking the detour through his reflective processes, and incomprehensibly to himself, all his progress should enter so swiftly into the work that he is unable to recognize them in the moment of transition. Alas, the artist who waits in ambush there, watching, detaining them, will find them transformed like the beautiful gold in the fairy tale which cannot remain gold because some small detail was not taken care of.” - Rainer Maria Rilke